11/10/2018 2 Comments You have to take care of yourselfI have great admiration for my fellow coaches who have reached out to me via direct message on various social media platforms to say they are struggling with anxiety and depression.
We try our best as coaches to bring the best out in others. Yet, sometimes we forget about taking care of ourselves and our mental health. We're givers. We give our heart, soul, time, attention, and emotions to our craft. We're optimists with huge hearts. We care. A lot. We want to make a difference to our players. This post is inspired by those of you who have reached out and those of who haven't. You have an ally, even if we've never spoken. YOU matter. Here's my story: A few years ago, I was at my lowest point. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I didn’t like it. I barely left the house. Slept a lot when I wasn't working. Avoided crowds and large groups of people. Disconnected with a lot of friends. Wasn’t the nicest person to my wife or my kids. I was a roller coaster of emotions. It was a lonely, dark place. I was without a doubt the worst version of myself. My glass was half empty. I was a cranky, old man in a thirty something's body. On the outside, I was “fine”. I was in denial. Just didn't know it. “How are you?” “I’m okay.” I would say this as a robotic response. How many of us say this every day when we know we aren’t fine? I was functioning. Barely. I wasn't enjoying life. How could I get to this point? I’ve been a happy person for most of my life. Was my life really that bad? I had a good job, beautiful wife, great kids. Depression and anxiety happen to someone else. These were all things that crossed my mind. If I continued down this road, I have no idea where I would be. Thank God, my family loved me unconditionally. Thank God soccer and coaching in many ways kept me going. I was functionally depressed. When it all changed: When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. The hardest part was making the phone call. Sports always taught me to be "tough". Tough meaning you don't talk about your feelings. Maybe it is because I am a male and talking about how we feel with someone is counter to the culture I grew up in? Maybe I feared being vulnerable. I finally worked up the courage to make the call. I'm so glad I made that call. A year plus later and I feel sturdy. My life has meaning. I have purpose as a husband, father, coach, employee. Whether it is working with a therapist, pharmacological means, a combination of both, YOU deserve happiness and peace in your life. The people around you will thank you. Your players will thank you. I often wonder where I would be if I didn't make that call? Hard to say but I don't think it would be a good place. If you commit to the "work" of therapy and finding yourself and searching for the meaning you're seeking, you may just find it. I'm not saying it will be easy. Do I have it all figured out? Hardly. The path to enlightenment is paved with pot holes and speed bumps. Yet, always worth it. What I do have figured out is how I react to situations better. I feel more confident in who I am. Why is this important for your players? If you don't know yourself, how can you know others? Our business as coaches is predicated on knowing others. If you're not in a good place mentally and emotionally, your players will know it. I would argue that we have a duty as coaches to pay-it-forward. If we can inspire love, optimism, and the realization that soccer can be a life-long journey, we have won. If you're struggling, I want to help any way I can. Coach Jason
2 Comments
Shannon Matthews
11/16/2018 12:37:31 pm
1st. The courage to not only write this, but to publish this is admirable. Way to put yourself out there. Very proud and impressed.
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Jason Broadwater
11/16/2018 05:32:00 pm
Thanks, Shannon. Really means a lot!
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AuthorCoach Jason is working towards his USSF National "D" license and currently coaches for Beadling Soccer Club - East and Azzurri FC - futsal. He's most passionate about player development, team culture, and mental health of coaches. Archives
April 2019
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